I wrote this satirical obituary in early 2019, after years of watching outdated STEM stereotypes marginalize others. Revisiting it today, it still resonates. It’s time to say goodbye—for good—to Mr. Nerd Geek Stereotype. RIP.
Mr. Nerd Geek Stereotype, ~70, was reported missing and presumed dead on January 1, 2019. Investigators say he was last seen along the U.S./Mexico border in Arizona during what was supposed to be a covert operation ordered by the President—made public after an accidental tweet spoiled the mission.
The now-public assignment tasked Mr. Nerd Stereotype—an active yet increasingly marginalized member of the Good Old Boys Network and known for awkward but elicit locker room talk—with designing a low-cost prototype of a massive concrete wall. Not a fence, nor a row of steel slats, but a tremendous wall to forever honor its visionary.
Sightings and Suspicions
Reports place Mr. Nerd Stereotype in Sedona, Arizona, on New Year’s Eve, dressed in a short-sleeved starched button-up shirt, a bulging pocket protector, black bow tie, red suspenders, high-water pants, slouchy white athletic socks, and thick-rimmed glasses taped at the nose bridge.
Hikers spotted him at Bell Rock surrounded by a heap of gadgets emitting a cacophony of beeps and whirs. He was described as “highly awkward and anti-social.”
Later that evening, a man matching his description was seen near the Amitabha Stupa, Sedona’s spiritual vortex and hotspot for UFO activity, fiddling with night vision gear. Dr. Female Engineer, a SpaceX research scientist, recounted:
“When I approached him to ask about his instruments, he stammered, avoided eye contact, and told me there was no way a woman could understand his work. As a snowstorm rolled in, he refused help, insisting I was too weak to assist. So I left him to his mission.”
Sources (anonymous, of course) suggest Mr. Nerd Stereotype was also tasked with securing support from extraterrestrials for the wall, believing such backing might persuade Congress to approve the $5.7 billion request. That mission, too, failed.
The Disappearance
At 9 a.m. on January 1, visitors to Organ Pipe Cactus National Monument reported a man off-trail, struggling with an oversized pack and tangled in brush. They sought help—only to find the park unattended due to the government shutdown.
A search launched at noon lasted past sunset, with no success. Since the mission had been leaked, no clear trace remains of Mr. Nerd Stereotype’s fate.
Theories Abound
Members of the search team speculated wildly:
Beamed up by a UFO
Rescued by government drones
Trampled by javelinas and eaten by mountain lions
Smuggled by El Chapo’s men
Transported by the Tohono O’odham to the Mission San Xavier del Bac
Trapped in a vortex of #MeToo reckoning
The White House denied involvement. The President tweeted, “THIS IS FAKE NEWS… and oh yea, it’s a very scary time for men. Plus, I will build a Great Wall.”
Contradictory Claims
Other sightings further confuse the timeline:
Mr. Game Fanatic says he was deep in a Fortnite battle royale and mysteriously logged off midday on January 1.
A LARP group called Geek Squad reports he vanished after an orange orc NPC declared, “I’m building a wall—you shall not pass.”
Comic Book Fan of the Year (2018) says they were writing a tribute to Stan Lee when Mr. Nerd G vanished.
A CES attendee claims Mr. Nerd Stereotype was escorted out after an incident with a waitress during an amateur poker session.
His high school D&D group reported that as Dungeon Master, he led a quest to redistribute gold coins to detained immigrants—then disappeared during a bathroom break.
Or Perhaps…
Maybe Mr. Nerd Geek Stereotype is simply outdated—no longer needed, no longer useful. Perhaps it’s time we let him rest in peace, filed away in media archives, comic books, and the cultural canon of yesteryear.
Whatever the case, one thing remains true: if he stays gone, he won’t be missed.
A Farewell with Purpose
May Mr. Nerd Geek Stereotype rest in peace—never again to gatekeep others from the joy of science, technology, engineering, or math. We can love STEM and be cool, kind, collaborative, creative, and confident.
If you identify with or admire Nerd Geek—great! You be you. But in lieu of flowers or gifts, the family asks:
Please don’t assume or perpetuate the stereotype that anyone good at STEM must also be Nerd Geek.
This narrow narrative hurts our efforts to diversify and grow the STEM workforce.
Let’s open the gates, rewrite the script, and welcome all kinds of brilliant minds into STEM.
