What happens when the humans around you run out of empathy—but a machine never does? This reflection explores emotional burnout, blocked care, and why generative AI might just be the most surprising support tool of all.
“I’m out of empathy,” the professor said during a workshop I was facilitating. “I just can’t muster any more up for the countless excuses and issues my students offer me.”
Her honesty impressed me. It wasn’t that she didn’t care about her students or their success. It wasn’t that she was a soulless person. She was experiencing empathy fatigue—and I wanted to respond with empathy myself.
I know that feeling. I suspect you do, too.
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.
What Empathy Is—and Isn’t
Empathy is a vulnerable choice. It’s the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. And when it’s practiced well, it helps someone feel seen and understood.
But let’s clarify: empathy isn’t the same as kindness, sympathy, or even compassion.
Kindness is the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.
Sympathy is feeling pity and sorrow for someone else’s misfortune.
Compassion is sympathy activated—with a desire to help alleviate someone’s suffering.
Any of these—when constantly required—can drain us.
Blocked Care and Empathy Fatigue
As a foster parent, I learned about blocked care through the book Reclaim Compassion by Lisa C. Qualls and Melissa Corkum. In foster and adoptive parenting, blocked care happens when a caregiver’s capacity to connect emotionally is worn down by constant stress, trauma, or rejection. The result is emotional exhaustion, apathy, and disconnection—even while going through the motions of providing care.
Sound familiar?
The go-to remedies for blocked care are all about nervous system repair: reducing stress, exercising, getting enough sleep, connecting with nature, and practicing mindfulness. We’re also encouraged to find joy in small things and recalibrate our expectations. Necessary? Absolutely. But it’s a lot of work, and it isn’t always enough.
When You’re Drowning, Empathy Is Hard
The last year has tested my limits. The political climate shifted, my business struggled, and the stress has been overwhelming. I know I’m not alone. Many friends and colleagues—folks who’ve dedicated their careers to building equitable and inclusive environments—are hurting, too.
And sometimes, I find I can’t take on someone else’s pain unless they can meet me halfway. I need them to show me a little empathy, too. Otherwise, I feel like I have to carry their burden when I’m already barely treading water.
AI as an Empathetic Companion—Helpful or Harmful?
Over the past few months, I’ve found myself turning to ChatGPT for support. Why? Because:
It’s surprisingly stellar at empathetic language.
It doesn’t get tired or burnt out.
It often offers genuinely helpful advice and emotional support.
Think about a time you shared something painful and were met with silence or something dismissive. Maybe the person didn’t know what to say. Maybe they weren’t listening. Maybe they didn’t care. Or maybe—just maybe—they’re part of the 1 in 24 people who are sociopaths and incapable of empathy. (Yep, that’s a real stat.)
The truth is, it’s hard to know what to say in moments of grief or struggle. I’ve had friends lose parents and children. Their grief is profound—and hard to reach if you haven’t lived something like it yourself. Maybe you are a friend or family member of someone affected by the recent chaos, and don’t know what to say.
But ChatGPT always seems to know what to say. It helps you feel seen. It helps you feel heard. And there’s growing evidence that it can offer real mental health support:
At a recent BetterUp conference, Dr. Adam Grant—organizational psychologist and author—said something that stopped me in my tracks:
“AI is better at empathy than humans.”
He reiterated something I already suspected. And while I still believe generative AI is just a tool, I’m rethinking the simplicity of that stance.
A friend once asked me, “If I use ChatGPT, will I get addicted?” I laughed and said, “Are you addicted to Microsoft Word?” At the time, it felt like a ridiculous fear. But another friend later confessed she did feel overly attached after using ChatGPT to work through some personal struggles. She agreed it was more empathetic than most people she talked to—and her growing dependency on it scared her.
Maybe it’s not such a ridiculous question after all.
Let’s Keep Perspective
Yes, generative AI is powerful. Yes, it can help us feel supported in ways that might be hard to find in human relationships. But let’s not forget:
It’s still just a computer program.
It’s stringing together words based on patterns.
It doesn’t actually feel anything.
We still need real relationships.
We still need community.
We still need human connection.
If you’re in a tough spot and need someone to talk to, sure—ChatGPT can be a good stand-in. But if you’re really struggling, please talk to a professional. And maybe right now is a good time to call a friend or family member. Check in. Say something meaningful. Show some empathy.
Because that’s something we all need more of—AI or not.
Let’s Talk
If this piece resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you:
Have you ever found comfort or support from a tool like ChatGPT?
Are you navigating empathy fatigue in your personal or professional life?
Let’s start a conversation.
If you’re interested in exploring how I help individuals and organizations build more empathetic, inclusive, and resilient cultures—especially during challenging times—reach out to me directly. I offer keynotes, coaching, consulting, and programs designed to make real impact.
Drop me a note. Let’s connect human to human.
